not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
two words...techno handjob
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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