How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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