maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
