he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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