its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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