Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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