yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize