i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
