i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Farmville is her only friend.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
