the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
