My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
