I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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