I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
