I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Still dying that you shit outside
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
