You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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