Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
