We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
