I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
