There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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