my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
