Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize