it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
