I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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