Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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