She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
