I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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