well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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