I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize