dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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