What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
