is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
