So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
