Umm I'm too high to move.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
