That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
