i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
