just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
