i think my mom watched the whole time
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
