I looked at my own cervix.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
