I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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