wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's never too late to be topless.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
