Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
