i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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