I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
