it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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