If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
high people should be assigned attendants
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
