i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
