I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
