Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
