...so i touched it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
