if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
