You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
