So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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