piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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