Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
