She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
