We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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