Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
