dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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