There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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