dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
