good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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